At an international meeting, Justin Trudeau walks around Xi Jinping, trying to get his attention. Xi Jinping seems to ignore him, when they finally meet.
Trudeau–Mr. Xi Jinping, how are you?
Mr. Xi Jinping, how are you?
Xi–Ah, who are you? Oh, yes, reader of Canada. Prease call me Big Daddy Xi.
Trudeau–Yes, Big Daddy Xi. Uh, I was hoping we could discuss interference.
Xi–What happen China not your concern!
Trudeau–Uh, I’m actually talking about your interference in Canada. Uh, I’m worried about overnationalism.
Xi–World are democracy. This mean you must accept China.
By the way, if democracy make you reader, what say about Canada peapo and democracy?
I am embarrass.
Trudeau–I think, uh, what you are trying to say is you are embarrassed.
Xi–No, I mean YOU are embarrass me and YOU should also feel embarrass! Canada peapo are too ben dan to be embarrass. Hehehe. Brain so empty need barroon to get attention! They must fill empty head with someting. Your full-stomach rerigion is rove. My rerigion is revenge. We Chinese make war by deceit. Obvious we are success! You cannot even perceive.
Let me ask you, Mista Justin. What was Mao’s “People’s War,” his Rittle Red Book?
Trudeau–Uh, I am not so, uh, familiar with this.
Xi–No, of course not. Too busy pray brack face man. You are forrow in your father traitor footstep. And it is not Castro! Why peapo want reward you with this? I am respect Castro. He is real communist.
What his name? I am forget.
Trudeau–Uh, Pierre…
Xi–YES! He experience guided propaganda tour China. Then rove China. Your father not notice millions Chinese die. Instead, he praise us. But it not onry riberal dynasty. Brian Muroney no different—why he attack South Africa but ignore China? Especwally when the purpose of CCP oppression is Chinese nationalrism! Anyone can see Canada morality forrow money. CCP exist for success Chinese peapo.
And the peapo are the non-White world. That’s why our great reader sent his book to them. Why you tink Tanzanians came to China in 1960s, why do you tink the Black Panthers read the book? But your father also read! I no understand. Unbereivable. Communism is nationarism for non-Western. Communist in the West are anti-West. It make no sense. I have no respect.
Father is asshoe.
In process he gave advantage to us and betray Canada peapo.
Trudeau–Uh, I try to understand, Big Daddy Xi. Uh, I admire your basic dictatorship. Uh, my father cared about peoplekind.
Xi–What happen China not your concern! Cannot buy rand China, reprace peapo, show degenerate propaganda children. You rearry think it possibo China become riberal democracy? Hahaha.
Trudeau–Uh, I mean, uh, nationalism in Canada!
Xi–Oh. I am surprise. I forget how foorish you are.
Let me tell you, my China friend. I am worry foreigner never understand China.
Trudeau–Uh, we are trying…
Xi–You no understand!
This our advantage. I no need so many Canada peapo useful idiot when I elite capture. You are my shabbos gweilo. What can I do for my good friends of China, the wheat sellers?
Trudeau–Uh, I had some concerns about…
Xi–You mean not enough money for you?
Trudeau–We, uh, can make a better world when millions of, uh, your people populate Canada.
Xi–China are rise peacefurry. But what happen after we finish rise? You no tink so far ahead.
Do you know what motivate us?
Trudeau–Kindness? Uh, you want to share Canadian values?
Xi--No, baizuo. Ambition. And our superior interrigence. Work hard. Are descendent dragon. Just as White man reprace Red man. Now China man reprace Engrish man. I am like Darwin. But you know, we are try shijie datong, World of Great Harmony.
Trudeau–That is, uh, exactly what WE want. It’s the right thing to do! I am interested in the equality of ALL Canadians, including the millions of Canadians that are currently living in China who are not here yet.
Xi–We are not baquan, hegemon-power.
For us it is win-win.
Trudeau–Yes, we both win!
Xi–No, I mean Chinese peapo win if WIN war—Chinese peapo win if LOSE war. We appeal to huaqiao as Chinese, not for royalty to CCP or myself, Emperor Xi.
Canada is strange country. So big. Few peapo. Chinee peapo are ancient and work harder. Need rand. We succeed. No one has more hutzpa than Chinese. Most psychorogicarry aggressive.
But with Canada, it too easy.
It is Chinese kid who are privirege advantage-traditional value, pray piano, punish harshry watch video game, don’t have dirty part-time job, rich princeling. You cannot learn Chinese. We learn Engrish. You do nothing prepare Canadian children for future. You are only help foreigner.
As long as we say we agree with you, you accept. So become Chinese.
We combine economy, technorogy, Triads and other patriotic organizations, together with CCP great army. You just accept them as “businesspeapo,” “democracy advocate,” or “refugee,” and “individual.” We say every day, turn America into sea of fire. But in fact, as our general say in Unrestricted Warfare, you win by control, not biolence!
You become tolerate one single Chinee, you become happy every Chinee! Emotion erase brain. Lose faculty. Like Horrywood movie. Maybe pretty Chinee girl change your view. Hehehe. Then you open up everything. How many you want, one million, two million?
YOUR deceit is values? But we are not fool. Not berieve. Grobal Willage will become Chinee concentration camp!
We are attracted to blue sky, no pollute air, and absence of rats, not your idiot values.
We bring technorogy, like your Nortel, then we take technorogy, kick out! And you don’t even seem to care! In fact, you don’t even seem to KNOW to care! Maybe because media same Dynasty.
Trudeau–Big Daddy Xi, uh, I have some concerns. Uh, moistly about human rights in China.
Xi–You have no right meddle our affair, Brack Face! When will foreigner understand China?
Trudeau–Uh, I’m sorry, please forgive me. We are trying so hard to be tolerant.
Xi–You no understand China…it is my advantage.
Trudeau–I understand. Uh, China, is poor and weak, made up of, uh, agrarian revolutionaries. I do not believe in conspirwishly theories. A great reset is a great opportunity for our economy. Uh, we will be able to rid Canada of all of the misinformation.
Xi–You are real danchun. I will give money, but it not necessary for you. I am speak. I am concern social justice Canada. You have bad history of Indian man and Brack peopo. Now criticize Chinees. So racist! I am concern White Supremacy!
Trudeau–Oh no, we try so hard…NEVER AGAIN!
Xi–Your racism prevent peace and cooperate. I try to be friendry to you. I berieve you are old friend of China like your father.
I am suspect maybe you are sincere man. Even though I kill thousands in America, by send fentanyl, you are friendry…also coronavirus.
Anyway, you no need help ban bad man. You already ban critical China man, close bank account. We also catch man critical China. I send you AI, surwallience technology. Face recognition—you catch racist man criticise China!
Trudeau–Uh, thank you so much. By the way, this is Canada, not America. We are working hard for ALL CANADIANS, growing our economy for a better sunny-ways future. We have to rethink elements as basic as space and time.
Xi–I am suspect maybe you are really berieve. So suprise. You are include me, I am sure. You are old friend China.
Trudeau–Yes, of course. You, most of all!
Xi–China help refugee.
Trudeau--You are, uh, bringing refugees into China? I am so pleased, Big Daddy Xi. I knew you would someday!
Xi–No, of course not. Help bring refugee CANADA, because Canada such big prace and kind. Help you destroy fringe minority.
Trudeau--Thank you, Big Daddy Xi. I don’t want to disappoint if that’s how you think of us.
Xi–So, Mista Justin. I want buy house in Canada.
Trudeau–I’m so happy we could find common ground!
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