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Marriage Is Being Destroyed

Marriage is being destroyed by two somewhat separate factors. The first is economic: the multi-trillion-dollar scam of modern finance, which devalues people’s savings and leaves them poorer than their parents. The second is the reshuffling of men’s and women’s roles, which was done ostensibly to empower women, but which really just removed their ability to function normally as either wives or mothers.

People can’t afford children. Certainly having children in one’s twenties now often makes no financial sense, because most people at that age do not have the resources to provide for them. The majority of families are having a hard time paying rent or mortgages on properties that are not necessarily luxurious. It takes two breadwinners just to put a roof over one’s head, let alone have children.

Real-estate speculation brings prices to unrealistic levels, making families think twice before having children. All the good-paying manufacturing jobs have been outsourced to countries paying low wages. Government-benefit programs have stripped the resources of normal households to give money to dysfunctional ones, thus discouraging pregnancy by normal women. Maybe people would have children if they could pay for them, but the rich want to keep more of the money. When the elite say people should have more children, what they really want is more slaves.

On the other hand, people marry too late because they pursue careers. Feminism’s push to get women out of the house has psychologically damaged young women from developing relationships that could lead to children. It’s not simply that a couple can’t take care of a large family anymore, but rather that high material ambitions have led people into wanting unnecessary comforts. The problem is not so much a lack of resources as of greed. People want the fake lifestyles they see on TV, so in order to achieve their financial goals they forgo having as many children as their parents did.

For men there is now little reward in marriage and children. Single men can live cheaply. A man would rather pay off a house, buy a fancy car, and get a vasectomy. He has little reason to reproduce – not economic, religious, social, or legal. A man just needs good friends. He doesn’t need to be enslaved by a modern type of marriage that would destroy his standard of life. Maybe men play video games because video games won’t nag them. Modern marriage is a bad deal for men, and it has been for quite a while. Men just don’t want to be plow horses.

Men who are aware of how badly society has decided to treat them are consciously getting out of the game. Men work hard for very little reward. Men with families are often the most boring men one can meet. A lot of men are like sheep, going dutifully off to some job so they can get away from the wife and children for a few hours. But other men have gone their own way. Why spend half a million dollars to be a slave to an ungrateful man-hating woman? Who in his right mind would want to bring a child into this world?

Divorce laws now favor the mother, leaving the father with the debts. There is a 50-percent-divorce court, with the court heavily favored against the man in terms of alimony and child custody, so there is no good legal reason for getting married in the first place. Fertility decline can easily be traced back to feminism and its selfish ideology of hatred, which has now become nothing more than a game to steal the fruits of men’s labor by taking away their freedom, their money, and even their children.

Men are doing well enough with the choices available to them. Marriage and children are now weapons to be used against a man by the woman, who is fully supported by a biased legal and family court system. Men go out and get sex but don’t get married, because they don’t want to take a 50-percent gamble on losing half of their wealth. Women divorce men after a couple of years anyway, claiming they are unhappy, and men end up with alimony and child support for years, leading them into a life of poverty.

In the name of feminism, wives are nasty to husbands. Women are taught to protest and be empowered, to dominate men and to despise them. Women should not be given everything they want – special hiring quotas, lopsided scholarship awards, windfall divorce settlements, and so on. But the elites are pushing immigration, while telling young women that men are too masculine.

There has been a decline in sexual morality, including such matters as extramarital sex, contraception, homosexuality, and abortion. Men can easily get frequent multiple sexual partners, so there is no social pressure to marry. Promotion of hedonistic lifestyles and promiscuity has done great damage. Such things as R-rated movies that should be X-rated have encouraged infidelity. Millions of fetuses have been aborted, and that reduces the number of people who in turn could have had children.

Children need two parents, not just one. Having two biological parents is the best setting for children, and this should be encouraged. Sometimes single mothers can do well raising children, but it’s always best to have the father around. Children raised by a mother only are likely to be rude, lazy, immature, and lacking in self-discipline. That’s because, in the absence of a father to enforce any rules, the children gain total power over the household. But people can’t acknowledge these facts, because to do so would make single mothers feel bad.

By discarding religion, people discarded morality. All moral issues are traditionally within the context of religious faith. Religion is largely dead in the West, so there is no religious pressure on human relations. Many people have stopped living by the moral standards put forward for two thousand years by Christianity.

The Decline of the Western Family

In the second chapter of The Communist Manifesto, Marx and Engels say: “Abolition of the family! Even the most radical flare up at this infamous proposal of the communists. . . .” However, with the possible exception of some that are hidden in the depths of great jungles, all human societies are based on some sort of unit that would be recognized as a family, and that has been the case for thousands of years.

Throughout the twentieth century, there was a common expression: “from a broken home.” This term was used to describe growing children who no longer had both parents, because of death or divorce, alcohol or imprisonment, or anything else that might leave a child with only one adult as the chief full-time caregiver. It was assumed, rightly or wrongly, that such children would be disadvantaged in comparison with children who had both parents.

So what are we to make of the modern belief in lesbian-gay-bisexual-transgender (LGBT) households? Is it likely that the children in these social groups will have adults in permanent and responsible roles? And what can we say about the prevalence of divorce in the modern world, and the consequent swinging door of step-parents or pseudo-parents, or of adults who argue over whose weekend it is “to have the kids”?

And what are the consequences for the mental health of children when they are told that even though they may be physically one gender, in some mysterious sense they are actually another gender and should start wearing other kinds of clothes? To draw out the insanity even further, it is now common wisdom that humans have dozens or hundreds of genders. But any biologist is aware of the fact that all mammals have two and only two genders, that humans are mammals, and that humans must therefore also have two and only two genders.

Whatever one’s feelings about traditional Christianity, it must be said that the entire Bible, and virtually every branch of that religion, has strongly emphasized the importance of marriage and the family. In fact, it is remarkable how much of the Bible discusses these two topics. One can assume that these are central to Christian concepts of morality.

The essence of the Christian marriage ceremony is that it is a public announcement of the intended formation of a new nuclear family, itself part of two extended families. The fact that the vow is public, not secret, means that all those who are involved in the ceremony are sanctioning that marriage as a part of the larger society, hence the “lawful” in the vow. The Catholic vow is “I, __, take you, __, for my lawful wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part,” but most of the other traditional Christian vows are similar. In summary: traditional marriage is heterosexual, it is monogamous, it is public, it is unconditional, and it is permanent.

Certainly there is far more to the decline of the Western family: low standards of education, poor employment prospects, overpopulation (including over-immigration), resource decline, and so on. There is a general “sourness” to be tasted in the overall decline of the West, the sad if somewhat peripheral sense that the West is not the “Golden Country” that Orwell’s protagonist remembers in 1984. Yet some of the topics described above may at least provide an outline of the more-immediate reasons why non-Western cultures are so well prepared and so eager to exacerbate Western self-wounding and self-loathing.

Since so much moral decadence is encouraged by Hollywood, it would be a worthwhile piece of legislation for every Hollywood film to begin with a large sentence printed on the screen, saying, “Destroy the family and you destroy the West.” Christianity has been the dominant source of moral values in the West for centuries. LBGT has not. Any discussion of the values we have inherited, and which we hope to preserve, must begin with an awareness of the last two thousand years of history.

One thing that “everybody knows” (but doesn’t really) is that men generally differ from women in terms of their sexual agendas, goals, whatever they might be called. From the point of view of the “me” generation – which still includes the great majority of people now living in the Western world – there is nothing difficult to understand about sex. All one needs is some sort of (imaginary) “orgasm meter” inside oneself, and then one maximizes the readings. However, as many writers have pointed out, the big difference between men and women in this hedonistic age is that men want to have sex once or twice with as many women as possible, whereas women want to have sex as often (or in as satisfying a manner as possible) with one man. (Not all men and women fit those descriptions, of course.) So that’s a huge difference, and an incompatible one – but only in a culture where sexual norms have been obliterated.

Related to the above, however, is a second thing that “everybody knows” (but not very well): that there are curious correlations between sex and religion – or perhaps I should say “religious values,” since the statement about correlations is true whether or not one literally believes in God. The Bible frequently talks about sex, although sometimes not mentioning it explicitly. The reason for these correlations is that a “holy life,” as opposed to a hedonistic life (as portrayed in pornography), is one in which a person replaces sex (I mean “unbridled sex”) for something that is mysteriously superior, which is the bond, the real bond, between a man and a woman.

So in that sense a real sexual union, one that is a truly loving relationship, is actually a partial renunciation of sex, rather than the maximization of it. But we’re confused because we live in a totally ruined world, here in the West. Benjamin Spock, Noam Chomsky, and Timothy Leary managed to scramble our brains. We’re all so dumb that we think God is talking to us, but it isn’t God, it’s Karl Marx.


  • Peter Goodchild

    Peter Goodchild's most recent book The Western Path, published by Arktos, may be purchase at

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